...and being asked not to participate, all the while they demanded me to seek out more worship. We never had one day in a week without church.

 

That was when the physical abuse from my mom reached a peak (beaten with coax cable cords). I couldn't sit back in my chair at school without constant pain. So, I quit church and decided to live in my car. I went to work at a fast food place after school. I would show up early or just drive around since I worked the night shift until 3 am. I had to pick up my younger sister and be at school by 7 am for the last two years of high school. I would shower occasionally at my aunt's house; she was quick to say how much of a sinner I was by not honoring my parents. They controlled my paychecks and would only allow me $50 a week to pay for my sister's lunch and gas. 

 

I had an arranged marriage with a boss of mine who was 16 years older and contacted my mom. Since we were "living in sin”. Fast forward, he was abusive, so I escaped and hid with one change of clothes and a car for a couple months until my friends convinced me to live with them until I was 25.

I had a baby with my new boyfriend and couldn't find peace with my body. Everything was wrong. I drank heavily and often. Several hospitalizations later in Jan 2015 I told him to leave.

 

I went to rehab that summer (first time with a counselor) and found out I was trans. I never heard of it until that point. Everything made sense. When I came out to my ex and my friends who helped me out I was not taken seriously. I lost my house. My ex told me when I tried to come out as trans again in April 2016 that I would never see, speak to or hear my child if I continued. I didn’t see her again until Jan. 2019.

 

During my transition I was homeless sporadically until I met a guy who let me crash on his couch. He decided to turn the place into housing and I helped him around the flat with odds and ends. I also switched my obsession for alcohol to glass artwork and worked as an instructor at a glass factory. The people there took my transition incredibly well and I received support at work as well as at home. Having people help me out here and there is the reason I am not homeless anymore. I applied for disability and it was accepted on the first try.

 

Now I live near my daughter and I have 50/50 time with her even though my court order reads "no visitation until gender confirmation" "after gender confirmation supervised visits only"

 

So, one major challenge today is staying connected to my chosen family even though I had to move 150 miles from them to be in my daughter's life. The biggest challenge during homelessness has been to not commit suicide. I was almost successful a couple times, but waking up from a coma was never a relief. I was horribly depressed and not medicated until the last try Feb 2017. The situation SLOWLY got better, though, through 5 years of constant encouragement from a whole new set of friends.